This season of Big Brother has seen plenty of villains.  Ronnie the Rat was the bane of many fans, America turned on Jessie as soon as we got the chance to vote for the Coup d’Etat, and Chima’s general insanity was very annoying.  But through it all, Natalie remains, and viewers are reaching new levels of hatred.

Normally, the most hated Big Brother HG is also one of the most loved.  Fans were split about 50/50 on Evel Dick Donato: some people loved him, others couldn’t stand him.  But Natalie is not in that league.  Natalie isn’t a “love her or hate her” kind of person, she’s just a “hate her.”

For me, this hatred stems from her hypocritical self-righteousness.  She laments every time someone does something dishonest to her, yet she’s made a habit of lying in this game, starting from the very beginning when she told everyone she was 18.  That’s perfectly fine, but only if it comes with a certain amount of humility.

Russell, for instance, was a giant bully, but when he “got got” he exited with grace and showed a ton of respect for how he was evicted.  Jessie also admitted that when Jeff used the Coup d’Etat to evict him, it was his best move, and last week Jessie showed a willingness to vote for Jeff to win, should he make it to the finale.

The problem with Natalie is that she doesn’t seem to get this distinction.  She’s admitted (in confessionals) that she targeted Jeff as vengeance for Jessie, and she targeted Michele because she doesn’t like her as a person.  Those are not valid or logical reasons in Big Brother.

She lies for no reason without thinking, and only because there were a number of people who were louder and more annoying than her, she was allowed to survive long enough to benefit from the random luck of the draw that gave her and Kevin back-to-back HoH wins at the very end.

At first, I thought I was in a vocal minority or, more likely, an overwhelming majority.  But not until today did I realize how unanimous this hatred for Natalie is.  In a poll, I asked you, the fans, who you would like to see win Big Brother 11 and more than 1,100 people responded.  A massive 85 percent chose Jordan (most likely because she’s the lesser of three evils), and another 14 percent went with Kevin (the lesser of two evils, assuming you forget that Jordan is even playing).

That leaves just 1 percent for Natalie.  That boils down to around 11 people, with a margin of error of about 5.  It’s not that she was sneaky and underhanded and played the game dirty.  In fact, those people are usually the ones the fans love.

It’s that people genuinely dislike Natalie.  She is nowhere near as nice as she may thinks she is, she’s certainly not as smart as she thinks she is, and she’s not as great at manipulating people as she thinks she is.  If she wins, fans won’t be angry that the villain won, they’ll be angry that a delusional, self-righteous, idiotic hypocrite won.

The boredom is getting to the houseguests as much as it’s getting on our nerves.  The four-hour HoH competition was too much for them to take, so it’s practically a day of rest right after.  With only three of them left, what else is there to do but keep talking to avoid a major brain-snap?

Kevin, Natalie and Jordan (I still can’t get over whyyy they’re the final 3) decide to discuss their favorite Big Brother
moments.  That is, other than staying this far in the game.

For Natalie it was getting engaged through Pandora’s Box and that phone call from home she won.  If she loves her family and boyfriend so much, why didn’t she just leave already?  It would certainly lessen the hate the fans have for this season.

Jordan’s is winning HoH and a Veto competition.  Well, Jeff threw HoH to her so her only real accomplishment is the latter, which is certainly more than what Natalie achieved.  The Whiny One may have gotten an HoH, but it was a guessing game which hardly required any skills unless you’re clairvoyant.

Kevin asks Jordan if kissing Jeff was included in her list of favorites.  She doesn’t exactly answer straight out, but relays the story of their first lip-lock.  It was that time Ronnie was pleading his case, preventing Jeff from putting the moves on Jordan.

The three also reminisce about their first day in the house.  Jordan remembers how everyone was so dressed up and waiting eagerly to go on air.  She can’t help but recall the butterflies flying around in her tummy at the time.

As for Kevin, his favorite moment has been the surprise of the Pandora’s Box and other bizarre Big Brother
gimmicks.  “Come on, money falling from the sky?” he jokes.

Another great memory of his was winning the Veto when it was needed most.  He had already poured his heart out in the Diary Room, thinking he was going home.  But fate saved the guy and he stuck around.

They then talk about the other hamsters, going on about who they hated and genuinely liked.  Kevin says his faves are Casey, Chima and Lydia while he certainly despised Braden, Jessie and the game-part of Ronnie.  Natalie instantly loathed Laura and Michele, and obviously they didn’t like her too.

Silence takes over the HGs at last, and Natalie begins talking about planning her wedding.  Okay, let’s end this after Kevin’s comment: “I don’t think anyone really cares.”  Makes you want to root for him more, doesn’t it?

There’s nothing much to report on the live feeds.  I could leave it at that and you wouldn’t even miss anything.  I can’t even pinpoint any highlights of the night because of how boring it’s been so far.

Natalie’s still obnoxious, Kevin’s just hanging around, Michele has remained unreadable and Jordan’s a lot less fun without Jeff.  I seriously can’t quote anything remotely funny from her.  Anyway, I guess the only thing to update here is more conversations in the Big Brother house.  This time, it looks like the remaining HGs have discussed what they’d do when they’re done with reality TV.

Kevin believes that he has to find a new dream, because it was already his dream to appear on Big Brother.  To me that isn’t much, but who am I to judge?  Still, he’s hoping to buy a new car when he gets out of the house.  He’d also want to visit his family in Japan or his boyfriend’s family in Mexico.

Natalie, who’s supposedly engaged now, is busy scheming for her wedding.  While I believe the guest list will be relatively short, she’s invited Kevin over and he’s agreed.  She also has to find a new dream because she thinks she’ll win the game this season.  Wow, heaven help us all.

Jordan didn’t really express her own thoughts on the matter, and I’m not sure there are any.  She did discuss raising a family over the weekend, and what sort of guy she wants to spend the rest of her life with.  Someone who’s funny but doesn’t call you names, doesn’t stare at other women and point out how hot they are, someone who has a stable job.  Well, now we know how Jordan will rely on men throughout her existence.  Not exactly something I’d approve of, but okay.

As for Michele, she already has the guy she loves and she’s doing pretty well with her career.  That is, if she still has a job to return to after Big Brother.  While alone with Jordan, she admits that there’s one last thing she wants accomplished in the house.  She knows it’s a mean thing to wish for, but Michele (and the rest of us) would love it.

What to do when you’re on the block?  Daydream.  Well, it’s another thrilling turn of events for this week on Big Brother, more so if you’ve read the recent spoilers.  If not, you’re probably one of those space aliens Jordan saw in the kitchen mirror.

Kevin’s HoH and you all probably know who he put up for eviction.  Thursday’s ages away, but we got you covered.  There’s very little hope for a real game on the show now, so it’d be great for the HGs (and all of us) to take it easy.

So it’s Jeff and Jordan pitted against one another for eviction, and it’s not a pretty scene.  There was a pity party galore with glasses of wine for Jeff, and his lady is all ready to throw the competition for him.  She’s trying to get the others to vote his way.  It’s a futile attempt, but you have to admit it’s kind of sweet on her part.

“I will convince people to vote for you,” she says.  Okay, Jordan’s becoming too much of a lapdog, as Russell pointed out.  She says she’ll tell the others to vote to keep Jeff during her eviction speech and will campaign for him to stay.

Hmm, this could be good karma for him since he threw an HoH comp for her.  Still, gentleman Jeff can’t accept the offer.

They’re alone in the backyard discussing scenarios, and the best one they’ve come up with is going to Hawaii.  As we all know, Jeff won one in a previous competition, so he doesn’t care what happens to the game now since he has that.

He still tries to get Jordan to go, and she tells him that if he wins, he has to get her a pair of earrings and bring her to Hawaii.  She wants a pinky swear for the trip and the jewelry, but Jeff says it’s only if he wins first place in Big Brother.  That’s sad because his chances are slim.

Moving on, Jeff refuses to pinky swear but he will if they do it in Hawaii.  Of course he means “booger,” in Jordo’s own terms.  Since she still won’t agree, he finally admits defeat and proclaims: “I’m getting me a hula whore!”

All the talk of leaving has made them hungry (obviously there’s not much to report on the live feeds tonight so I’m sticking with this).  Jeff starts his obsession with “tooona” again, and the two playfully bicker about the fish.  He ends up munching the leftover fajitas he made, wondering who made them taste so good and forgetting it was his own cooking.

There are more crazy antics between Jeff and Jordan, actually.  They just lie there and watch their pupils dilate.  Surely this indicates physical attraction between them and not junkie behavior, as I’ve learned from CBS’
The Big Bang Theory.  Thank you, Leslie Winkle.

Again, Jordan gets too excited, as we all expected her to.  The two of them keep cracking jokes, until they ride their way to the depression train again.  Later they lie down in the Splish Splash room, where Jeff tells her his armpits smell like fabric softener.  Again, don’t blame me.  There is seriously nothing important happening.

Sleeping too much now that they’re on the block, Jeff tells Jordan that he feels like Rumpelstiltskin.  My guess is that he’s referring to Rip Van Winkle, but once again he’s somehow proven he’s a perfect match for Jordan.  They better take that Hawaii trip together.